Friday, 15 July 2011 16:10 Written by Nirmala
Someone had trouble with the commenting system on this blog and so used the contact form on here to ask me the following question about one of my earlier posts:
Perhaps I don't understand what you mean that "desire flows from the essential joy and love within our hearts". Always? Desire, for me, feels like more of a compulsion for something that I think is missing, that I lack, and would feel more complete having. Joy and love, for me, have no neediness in them. Intrinsic in Joy is no thought of something to internalize, or to posses. It's more of an outflow than a missing 'something'. Maybe it's just semantics I'm having issue with. Can you sort this out for me? Thanks my friend.
I emailed back as follows:
Sorry you had trouble with the comment system. It is finicky sometimes, especially the system for reducing spam by requiring you to enter the words in the box.
And I am glad you mention that it might just be semantics. Every perspective that is put into words is of course just a piece of the puzzle. If a particular piece is helpful in expanding your understanding, great. And if not, then you can just notice that piece does not expand your view in this moment.
That all being said, here is how I see it. Our Being is limitless and full of infinite potential. It is like an energizer battery that truly can never run out! And as you say, Joy is an expression of that infinite potential. It is like one form of current that flows out of the battery. And desire is a thought that shapes or directs that current towards a particular outcome. So in this view, desire is a thought filled with the current of Joy. It is a limitation and distortion of the pure Joy to be flowing in the form or shape of the particular thought or desire, but the current still comes from our Essence or Being, and the current is still made of Joy.
So I point to the Joy in the desire to direct someone's awareness to this current of exuberant Essence that is already here when you are wanting something. Often we are hypnotized by our desires into focusing all of attention onto the object of our desire. We feel this inner current of Joy and think that if we get what we want we will feel it even more. And unfortunately, when we do get something we want we relax our wanting and then we do feel more of the Joy and happiness that is natural and always available. I say unfortunately because we have been taught the mistaken idea that the happiness comes from the thing we got, and do not notice that it is flowing from within our Being, and that is where all of the Joy we have ever experienced has come from. And so when we get happier after we get something we want, it can reinforce our tendency to believe that the most important thing about our desires is getting the particular thing we want. There is nothing inherently wrong with getting what you want, and there is definitely nothing wrong with the happiness you feel when you get something you want, but the mistaken belief that the happiness you feel comes from getting what you want drastically limits the amount of happiness and Joy you can experience in life. It means you tend to only notice this inner Joy when you get what you want.
Therefore, I point to the Joy that is already here when someone is wanting something to hopefully bring them to a realization that you do not need to get what you want to be happy. You just need to become more curious about the energy that is fueling your desires. If you get in touch with the energy that is fueling your desires (Joy) then it doesn't matter as much whether you get what you want or not. It is such a simpler way to be happy! And pointing to the Joy that is already here in any desires you are feeling avoids any possible internal conflict created by making desire bad or wrong, or suggesting that you have to get rid of desire to be happy, All that is needed is a more complete experience of desire as it is. The Joy is already here even when you want something a lot!
This is not the only way to point someone to their Essence and of course unfortunately it doesn't always work. And as I mentioned about the pieces of the puzzle, if someone is already experiencing their essential joy, then they do not really need this particular piece of pointing. When you are already at the post office, you do not ask people for directions to the post office! When you are already experiencing an abundance of pure Joy, then any desire or idea about desire will naturally be irrelevant. Or if desire arises, it might be such a complete desire that you desire everything just as it is. We also call this kind of desire "gratitude". Gratitude is another channel that essential Joy flows in, but it is a much wider channel than desire.
I hope this clarifies what I meant.
Thursday, 14 July 2011 17:15 Written by Nirmala
Someone emailed me to share:
Life is seen as an unfoldment, as Grace, rather than as a "making"... the same life, this life, the same manifestations: yet the difference between the two visions seems immeasurable.
When Grace is recognised and perceived, I see this same life and its manifestations as an unfoldment rather than as a "making". Everything loses its gravity and its shadow of ego, and I truly feel I am walking freely and undisturbed. When things get heavy, and inner effort, struggle and discontent have their way, I find no more trace of Grace anywhere: only a scent of ego and time and mind is what I feel all around "me". How light is life - the same life - in the first vision of things!
How to melt more and more in this vision and recognising of Grace, which I feel is a truer vision of life? How to live more in this "not personal" way? Any comment or suggestion on this would be greatly appreciated.
I responded as follows:
Your message is so full of wisdom and light, that perhaps the best answer to your questions lies in rereading your own words. I especially like the way you asked your question at the end where you ask how to melt more in the recognition of Grace. Since there is nothing you can do to "make" there be more Grace or more Beauty, or more Love in your life, what is left is a very subtle opportunity to simply more often notice the Grace that is already here. This noticing is not really a "doing" or a "making things happen." And it is also not a non-doing which is often actually the "doing" of inaction. Noticing, inquiring, and paying attention are in between doing and not-doing, or perhaps in another category altogether. Noticing something is "doing" something that is already happening. Awareness is already happening and so when you notice something, you are "doing" this awareness that is already here! That paradox is what makes the noticing so powerful without it reinforcing the illusion that you are in charge or making things happen.
Action and inaction still occur as natural parts of life. but the bigger question is do you simply notice the Grace that is also present, and that is even present in all of your actions and inactions. Grace is all there is. So all you need do to live more fully in this ever-present presence of love, peace and joy is to give these things more and more of your attention. You do not need to make them happen, or to create more love, peace and joy. But you can notice them more and more. Can you see the love present even in the movements of the ego? Can you feel the peace that is present in the ordinary empty space in the room with you right now? Can you experience the joy and natural curiosity that is already present in your questions before you find any answers?
And can you also be more fully present to your experience when it seems Grace is a distant memory? The opporunity in that is to notice more fully what appears to be in the way of seeing the peace, joy and love that is here, and to find out what is ultimately true about these veils or illusions. Can you even see Grace in the movements of your mind and ego that seem to hide Grace from view?
You cannot live "more" in this non-personal way because you already live totally in this non-personal way. The only misunderstanding is the idea that it is somehow personal. So the only antidote is to see that your human life is already an expression of a supremely profound Grace. It is not "personal" because it does not just flow within you or only as the particular events that you want to experience. It flows through you, everyone and everything. Grace appears as everything that ever happens.
Ultimately the recognition of this deeper truth also just happens. The noticing and paying attention just creates a situation where that recognition is noticed when it happens. Efforting to make it happen does not work, and unfortunately "not efforting" to make it happen does not work either. Paying attention does not directly make it happen either, but it does mean that you are paying attention when the recognition spontaneously happens. My favorite metaphor for this is how sometimes you can't remember someone's name, and no matter what you do, you still can't remember their name. Then ten minutes later when you are no longer trying to remember their name, the name pops into your mind. Paying attention or noticing is simply what is required to notice the name when it finally appears.
A deeper recognition of Grace is a function of Grace itself. Paying attention just means you are not asleep when it happens!
Wednesday, 13 July 2011 15:03 Written by Nirmala
Someone emailed with a question about doing inquiry into beliefs using The Work of Byron Katie. He asked if it was helpful to uncover the core beliefs that are the source of the more superficial thoughts and ideas he experiences, and then to do inquiry to address those core beliefs. As he put it:
It is like there is a big forest on fire. There are a five or six dragons standing in the middle of the forest. They light the forest on fire, by breathing out fire everywhere. If we put the fire out, then after a while, the dragons will start the forrest burning again. But if we killed the dragons, then after a while, the fire would stop and there would be no more burning. The fire is the outer layers of conditioning. The dragons are the core beliefs, or the inner layers. Would you keep your main attention on the core-ones or give the same amount of attention to everything?
I wrote back the following:
You are definitely correct that there are core beliefs that at times are the source of the more outer layers of your thinking. And practically speaking, it would be most helpful to address these with your inquiry as you have been doing. I would also suggest that you do not have to actually kill the dragons as they are after all just made up of thoughts. Instead, I would invite you to become very curious about them. How do you know what you think? How do you know that something is a belief and not just an idle thought? How do you sometimes know what you are unconsciously believing? What are thoughts and beliefs made of? How important are they really? If they are just thought dragons, maybe you can turn them into pets!
Another suggestion is that underneath the dragons, there are even more fundamental beliefs or convictions that we do not often stop to question because they seem so obviously and undeniably true. These are core assumptions we have like the assumption that "I am a person" or "I am this body". A very deep assumption or belief is the idea that some experiences are better than other experiences. And when you combine the belief in better experiences with the belief that I am a separate somebody, then it seems true to work hard at getting a better experience for this separate "me". But if you see that there is no experience that is better than any other experience (they are just different), or if you see that there is only one awareness here having all experiences, then you can hold this whole journey of life lightly, including holding all of the endless ways you can inquire and question lightly.
Since no experience is better than any other, the point of the inquiry is not to get rid of anything or get more of anything, but simply to discover what is happening. In the case of your deepest assumptions about life, you can explore, What are the beliefs that it does not even enter my mind to question? How do I hold a deep belief or assumption so that it does not seem possible for it to not be true? And in the more general exploration of all of your beliefs, you can not only ask what do I believe, but also ask what is the nature of belief itself? And ultimately, what is the nature of the awareness that experiences even the deepest beliefs? Does awareness need to be changed or fixed in any way? Awareness is the mother of all dragons! And good luck slaying that one!
Nice to hear from you my friend.
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